1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says “Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.  It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.” (emphasis mine)

Judgment destroys love. How do I know? When I was 15 yrs. old, I had a family member tell me and my brother that we were going to hell because of the music we listened to. At the time, I listened to rock music and some hard rock. We argued back and said that it wasn’t about the music we listened to but about what was in our hearts, but still the judgment stood. We were going to hell if we didn’t turn from our devil music. As a troubled 15 yr. old, I equated this judgment with God’s love and if one of his people could honestly say that I was going to hell then I didn’t want any part of God or his son Jesus. For about 16 yrs anytime someone mentioned the name Jesus around me it was like acid in my stomach. You see, for 16 years, I couldn’t cuss him or praise him. I couldn’t say his name at all. Anytime one of my family members would tell me I NEEDED to be in church, I got physically ill and my stomach would tie up in knots and I would honestly feel like I was going to throw up.

When we judge one another, we destroy everything that God is trying to do in someone’s life. When you look at a kid and judge them based on how they look or what they listen to, you could be destroying them. We need to remember that we don’t know what is going on inside someone. We don’t know what they are going through privately. They could be dealing with a violent, alcoholic parent. They could be dealing with poverty and judgments from kids at school because they don’t have the right clothes. Maybe they are suicidal and the only thing that they are holding onto is the hope that someone will see past the way they look or what they are listening to and simply love them.  You see, it is speaks volumes look past the exterior and you reach out to them and accept them for who they are (good or bad) – just as God reached out and accepted you. We are called to build up and edify each other, not to judge one another.  We have to allow God’s voice of love and acceptance to be louder than the hurt, pain, rejection, and abandonment many feel. Satan is telling our kids and the hurting adults in this world that they don’t deserve love, that they aren’t good enough for love, that they will never be accepted by God because they have done too many things wrong – judgment and criticism are the tools that satan uses to continue to tear them down and drive them further and further from the God that loves them. Our judgment only reinforces the lies that satan is yelling in their ears.  Love conquers shame. Love conquers rejection. LOVE CONQUERS ALL. It’s not just any love, but the unconditional love of our heavenly Father that conquers fear, rejection, and solitude, and brings victory. We must allow ourselves to be the bearers of God’s love!

Jesus didn’t die on the cross for the ones who “have it all together”, but for the lost and hurting.  So don’t judge just love – because unconditional love saves lives!

Thank you Rebecca for sharing.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you…” This is a verse I have to refer to more often than I wish to admit. I struggle with worry; I make myself sick with it. For those of you that know some of the things I have dealt with as a mother over the last couple of years, you will understand exactly what I mean by this. For those of you who don’t know, you should be able to relate in some way and I pray it makes you think about how you react to difficult situations. I’ve been dealing with some heavy emotions lately and as I was driving tonight a word popped into my head…REGRET. It came more in the form of a question; “Do you regret anything?” I can honestly say, no I don’t but it got me thinking. So I came home and googled the following: “what does the bible say about regret?” I got a lot of scriptural references but the one that grabbed me didn’t even include the word regret. It led me to the book of Isaiah, specifically chapters 41 through 43. You see, I have been preparing my self to react to the what if’s in my situation; What if this happens?, What if I don’t do this?, What if I say…? I have to be ready, I have to be guarded, I have to watch over my shoulder, on and on and on. I thought I had my emotions under control. I feel just fine throughout the day, I appear just fine. But the truth is I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve actually been having nightmares over it lately.

But now, after reading my word, I’m convinced I will sleep well tonight and going forward, as long as I keep this in the forefront of my mind. All through the three chapters I mentioned God tells us basically not to worry and that he’s got our back. Those that have done evil will face their judgment, and it’s not our judgment but His! For the first time I am crying over this difficult situation out of relief! Until now, my tears have been of heartache and fear. But in Isaiah 41:11-12 He says, “Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. 12 You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be nothing at all.”

Out of this I am reminded that I have nothing to fear… God’s got me! So, why don’t we try this what if: What if…we give it ALL to God? Or how about: I have to…let go and let God! Amazing what you learn if you just listen, huh?

I’ve yet to meet a person who was completely satisfied with who they are or what they had. Yes, I know a lot of people from all walks of life and they always want more they never have enough. For some it money or power, others it shoes or free time. I could list pages of things that people seek after get it and it’s still not enough they long to fill something inside them but what. So ask yourself……….
Are you satisfied with what you have, who you are, where you live or what you have accomplished? See  God’s word tell us that there is only one that can full fill us.
3Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 15The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” John 4 :13-15
See the truth is we can chase after all kinds of things but without Jesus we will still thirst for something to fill us.

I was thinking about how God always shows himself in the little things, that is, if we look for him there. I remembered a conversation I had with someone about winters in Oklahoma.  The person I was talking to said she hated winters in Oklahoma because everything was dead, the grass was brown, the trees had no leaves, and it just looks so ugly.  I disagreed, instead choosing to find beauty in the bareness of the trees. I love that you can see the branches of the trees in the winter. I love that you can see the sunrise and sunset through the trees; there are no leaves to block your view.

Have you ever thought about what the branches of a tree look like and how different each tree is underneath all those leaves? Each tree, just like you and me, are very different. With all their leaves they kinda look the same, but when you strip them down to the core, it is very apparent that no two trees are exactly the same…. Just like us. Like us, what they have gone through while growing helps to shape the branches underneath. Each person is shaped differently because of their life events. Two people can be raised in the exact same environment, but come out of it very different.  Just as two trees can grow in the same orchard but look very different underneath.  Just because they are different underneath, does not mean that they cannot bear the same fruit.  If they are both apple trees then they will both bear apples, no matter what their branches look like. Our underneath (our lives, our pasts, our environments, & our experiences – good or bad), all look different, but when we grow in Christ, we should all be bearing the same fruit…. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control. (Gal. 5:22)

What we face in life shapes us from the inside out.  Circumstances mold us, events shape us, tragedies come and go, and yet, God asks us to all bear the same fruit -the fruit of the spirit. When we give ourselves to the Lord we are asked to start bearing these fruits. So many times, as Christians, we use the circumstances of our past as an excuse to keep us from bearing the proper fruit. Instead we allow ourselves to bear the wrong fruit (sexual immorality, impurity & debauchery, idolatry & witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like – Gal 5:19). We allow ourselves to still be chained to the past then we don’t start producing the fruit that comes with allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our lives. The events of our lives have shaped us into who we were before Christ, but the Holy Spirit wants to shape us into the new creatures we are in Christ.

I can no longer allow my past to dictate who I am in Christ. I must allow the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me to bear the fruit that comes from renewing my mind & following Christ.  Only then will my apple tree look like an apple to tree to those who can’t see my branches underneath. I want the light of the Lord to shine through me, just as the sunset shines through the branches of the trees in winter. When you strip off all the layers and see all my branches, I want you to see one thing…. Jesus.

How about you? Are you allowing your past to dictate the fruit on your tree?

Thank you to Rebecca Good for sharing!

As a youth pastor I spend a lot time in schools and going to sporting events with the students. As a parent I do the same thing with my own children. You would be amazed at what students talk about and what they listen to when parents aren’t around. I know you are thinking it’s just the bad kids…….No, not true at all, students from all races, creeds, and social economical backgrounds are engaged in things that would shock their parents.

Their heroes are Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, and other celebrities who don’t uphold to the same standards you do. Yet, because they are successful we deem it ok.  The world and its standards are raising the youth of today. The standard of the world is success and nothing short of what it takes to become successful.

Parents aren’t raising their children anymore. Television, video games, and the latest teen magazine are. No, not all students are like this but you would be shocked at those that are. We need to be teaching them that we are in this world but not of this world. We need to be teaching them how to make decisions for themselves that line up with the word of God and not with the gospel according to MTV, VH1, BET, or Rolling Stone.  If we don’ teach them then they will do what they think the heroes are doing – right or wrong.

I recently was at a Jr. High football game and a few students I know from that school where sitting by me and a lady gave me that “why is a grown man hanging around a bunch of kids” look. Yet she was not shocked by all the students groping each other and there loud colorful choice of language.

So, the president is making a speech to students today. Yes ,you may not agree with what he saying, but I can promise you this it is far from the worst thing you child is hearing on a daily basis. Whether they are in the 1^st grade or senior in highschool.

Okay. Let’s get real…I mean real and messy. I am one of two sons of a retired preacher. I am the youngest of four children. I grew up in many different locations, where the people called to be the church, meet. (Foundation and walls are not the church). Now I know people out there don’t believe that church people are real! I say that we are as real as they come! Why? Let’s see, first, we are some of the world’s biggest liars and hypocrites in the entire world. Second, we cheat on things (and each other…wives, husbands and so on). Third, we act like our world is separate from the world we live in! We pay more attention to what selfishly makes us happy! We decide that if we like it and we benefit from it then we will do what makes us feel good!

I have always heard the message of Christ and yet hearing is seeing, and seeing isn’t living.  Let’s face it I didn’t care at the time! I was wild and promiscuous at a young age. I slept with girls, drank beer, and did drugs from the time I was 14 till I was 22 or so. I still went to church but only to see what girl would be there and to size them up! I didn’t care about God. I cared about sex… I cared about being in control of my life, not surrendering my life to a savior. I was like the church. Or was I like the world? I don’t know but I thought I was happy.

You see, we have this misconception and think people in the church can’t get real. Well I will get real. I liked to drink. I liked girls and they liked me. I liked drugs. Weed, cocaine, pills…whatever felt good I wanted to do it. I needed something hardcore because I dealt with unfulfillment. I dealt with pressure, with parents separating, fake friends, and people who turned their back when I failed! I dealt with it all!!!

I had to take the focus off of being the person who dealt with it. I needed to break myself of being alone. I didn’t know how till God gripped my heart. He made me be alone with Him in a hot dry place (aka a desert). I had a desert in my life. I wondered it for years like the Israelites leaving Cairo. God had me though. I didn’t do a lot in that desert except cry out where the #@?! are you!?!?  Why won’t you let me go to sleep and not wake up?? I stopped crying one day and I started searching. I felt like I wanted to rise above where I was, but how? I did not know nor did I make any real attempts. I knew my hurt was real and I began to see self-inflicted pain. Oh, how I wished I could go back and undo the hurt.  I knew as much hurt as I felt, I probably caused fifty times that hurt. I wanted to die and cursed the fact that I ever woke up on those days! But I was drawn to the Bible and a specific passage. It was Luke 22:31-32.

Luke 22: 31-3 says “31 And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

It called out to me! I began to wonder could I lay myself aside and really pursue Christ? I decided to do something. It initially came in small doses. Little by little, I would pray sometimes and then still go out right afterwards! I was still in the world and the world was still world in me. But now, at least, I was talking to God on a regular basis. Christ was gently remodeling the house. The outside was still the same but He was making it His house again after I ransacked it! Christ started to build the interior from scratch – scrapping the infected materials that I left to fester. God made a new place in me then told me to take that same exterior and parade it around and let the light on the inside out! Hahaha I thought! Yeah right! People will laugh at me! They will say you’re full of sugar honey iced tea. God didn’t care what they thought and he wanted me to not care either! I wanted to stop caring about the world…but Christ said to me plainly…I died for that world!! Then in that moment I realized unless I take that message and live it…truly live it, I would never be satisfied with my life and the mission that Christ called me to!

I am not perfect! I only live to die more every day so others may see the living Christ. That’s what I wanted to say this whole time and I had to get messy and real and let the doors be open. Know that Christians aren’t perfect yet we are human! I won’t speak for others. I will however invite you to connect with me. I’m on twitter @thepaulellis. Send me a DM and I will connect with you personally to let you know that real people are Christians…and real Christians are people!

It’s not easy to confess something like this, but if I feel it something I must share.  I hear people say all the time “It’ll never happen to me”. It’s the same thing I thought… until it happened.

Don’t fool yourself, an affair starts off as simple as they say. You know…. the harmless flirting. You would think at this point friends and family would stand up and say something. Yet they don’t, it’s almost like they are ok with it.  I think that was the trigger that let me think it was ok. So I tested the waters a little more, spent more time in the affair. Still, no one says anything, strange but it seems like they are having an affair of their own. Then one day I crossed that line and then there was no turning back. The affair has consumed most of my time. I was now ignoring my children, my friends, and other relationships. Spending my time, money, and effort, even hiding it from others because they might have been ok with it in the beginning but now I was sure they wouldn’t approve.

Then after time passes, the affair got old, and I felt bad about what I had done. So I decided to confess my actions. Only to have pastors, friends, and family say “Oh it’s no big deal”. You are probably as shocked as I was to have a pastor say an affair is no big deal. Then again, I’m not talking about extra martial affairs; I’m talking about cheating on our creator with created things.

We all do it.  I know I’m guilty. You don’t believe me? Check your bank statement, your  internet history, or your  Outlook Calendar. Where are we spending your time and energy?  Is our time spent pursuing and growing our relationship with God? Or has pursuing Him gotten old and stale so we watch more TV, workout more, try to serve more, or any number of other things that we put before God.

Why is it when we think of an affair we think only of cheating on the person we are married to?  God tells us we should have no other gods before him. Exodus 20:3

I challenge you to stop and examine your own life.  Is God #1 in your life? Or are you having your share of affairs?

Here is the deal haters are going to hate you know matter what you do in life. That’s what they do is hate that’s their Job to hate. So trying to avoid haters by pleasing everyone is not the answer. When you do that you start to cloud what you believe. You will do things that you would not normally do to have others like you. Your standards change your vision gets cloudy and now you are trying to please others and not God.
John 15:19 says
If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
This is the deal God’s got your back so I wouldn’t worry too much about the haters

It’s that time again Video Wednesday. This weeks video is “Fly Away” by the Grits. I hope you enjoy!

I asked a friend of mine  Paul Ellis who has a big heart for the Lord to share some of it.

I read a poem once by Robert Service, entitled “Men who don’t fit in” I read it at a time in my life when I felt exactly that way. I was down and depressed, and I lived my life trying only to escape the pain and hurt that had now been stagnant for so long. I remember how hearing the words of the poem echoed into my life…I thought this poem is just about me, and my deep brokenness. I assure you looking back on that time in my life that I now realize that we go thru HELL sometimes and sometimes we catch a bit of it too. Here’s the thing I also learned from that dark era of my life as well. “If you catch hell, don’t hold it; if you’re going thru hell don’t stop. God always sees fit that thru the desert He’s there with us. Jesus even said he would never leave us nor forsake us. I found that as I walked alone trying to figure out if things would ever be better in my life that God had strategically placed me where He needed me so to have me all alone, only he could help me when I cried out. It was a hot dry desert; yet thru the hot dry period we can sweat out the impurities that pollute our lives. God must have a servant who is tried and tested and ready for battle. Imagine all the adjectives I used: “dark” “lonely” “hot” “dry”… Literally HELL. So be encouraged, God moves mountains changes lives and still guide’s people who suffer from Hell thru it all.

Thanks to Paul for sharing some of his heart!